I realize that the phrase “unwanted attention” seems funny coming from someone like me who enjoys being the center of it all. I will say that though I am an affectionate person, I don’t want people touching me all the time. For example, you’ll never catch me getting a massage. A good friend is an LMT, and still I refuse. Nothing personal. Just don’t like people seeing me naked and don’t want them touching me.
For the past few months, I have had what we called “weekly date nights” with a friend and her daughter. We’d go to the gym for Zumba on Thursday nights, go out to eat, then back to their pad to watch a couple of TV shows. On our last date night, we went to my friend’s fav Mexican food place because this woman loves guacamole more than normal people should and I knew it would make her happy. We ended up with the BEST server I think I’ve ever had at any dining establishment. I told her, “You are by far the best server I’ve ever had. Tell your manager I said to give you a raise!” She laughed and said, “Tell him yourself. He’s right here.” This is where things go awry.
Our eyes met, and I instantly knew this man and I had already been acquainted. You see, it is both a blessing and curse to have my memory. I never forget people. He said, “How do I know you?” then I reminded him of when & where we crossed paths. He squealed with delight and plopped himself into the empty chair next to me. He really liked my eye makeup (wish I was kidding about this). He was super friendly, but the fact that I didn’t really know him from Adam didn’t seem to slow him down. My friend watched the guacamole like a hawk. She was concerned he would try to partake. He soon got up and went about his business but would stop by and chit-chat periodically. This is where things get even more….awkward.
Without warning, this man came up behind me and began to massage my shoulders. I was paralyzed with shock. Even as his fingers moved toward my back, I could not find the words. For the absolute first time in my life I was SPEECHLESS. My friend looked on in horror, then returned her attention to the guacamole that she guarded like a mama bear with her young as she could not witness the violation any longer. I managed to finally squeak out the words, “This is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me.” He stopped shortly thereafter. Then, he made his way to my friend where he swooshed her hair out of the way and went to town on her shoulders. I gave her a wide-eyed look as I took a heaping bite of the guacamole.
Wouldn’t you know after all of that, we didn’t even get a free dessert. Next time, I’ll be sure to order my dinner WITHOUT the side of inappropriate touching.