Insecurity is something I do not have time for. Not to say I don’t have my moments, but all that agonizing over MYSELF is such a waste of perfectly good energy. I believe artistic people are more prone to insecurity. Especially singers. I think singers have to be some of the most sensitive people because our “instrument” is literally part of who we are. So, when someone approves or disapproves we take that as a reflection of how you feel about us as people. When you take a step back and think about it rationally, someone liking my singing doesn’t necessarily mean they like me and visa versa. It just feels as though it is one in the same.
Even though I have been singing in church (solo) since I was 15 years old, my quest for confidence began just 3 years ago (I’m a late bloomer). I approached several women that I respected that I felt were confident in who God created them to be and their abilities. I received some good advice. One said “fake it til you make it”. Another said “let go & just have fun”. One friend said ‘when your focus is on you, it’s not on the Lord”. That statement really made me check my motives. For whose glory am I singing? I can really be a dumb girl sometimes.
I can tell you with utmost sincerity that I do not believe I am the greatest singer that ever lived. I am certainly not the greatest singer in my ridiculously talented church. I am not a lot of things. But, I am someone who loves God with all my heart. As I continue to give what I have to Jesus, I continue to watch Him stretch and use that in wonderful and unique ways. It is for that reason I don’t envy anyone else (not to say I’ve NEVER envied anyone before, like Adele for example). God gave me this voice and for me to say it’s not good enough is telling Him directly what He did isn’t good enough. That is simply untrue. On my own, I have limits. In His power, anything is possible.
Love who you are, because He made you that way. Use what He gave you, and your life will have purpose. Allow your heart to dream, and who knows where that will take you.