Boobies

I had my very first mammogram on Friday. I have to admit, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I imagined it would be.

I wish someone had given me a few pointers. For example: don’t wear lotions or deodorant, or you will have to scrub yourself down with not one, not two, but FOUR moist towelettes. Quite unsavory. Another helpful hint would be to wear your hair in a ponytail to keep it out of the way and so it doesn’t look like you have a hairy chest on your scans. You’re welcome.

I am especially thankful for Mona, the technician. She completely put me at ease and had a great sense of humor. She told me she’d been doing this for thirty years. I told her, “That’s a lot of boobs, Mona.” She laughed. She worked quickly and efficiently to get things done. Once in place, she’d say, “Don’t move, don’t breathe.”, and just a few seconds later it was over. I watched as my scans appeared on the monitors. I thought to ask for a copy for my husband, but refrained. I thanked Mona for her excellence and she said, “They don’t call me Mammogram Mona for nothin’. She was hardcore.

Ladies, if you’re in your thirties (or if you’re younger but have a history of breast cancer in your family), don’t be a wimp. Go get your mammogram.

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