Today’s FUNcast: Sunny With a Chance of Crazy

I live in the Portland metro area. We have been experiencing strange weather conditions. By “strange” I mean cold and rainy for most of the summer. I don’t mind it too much as my house is not equipped with air conditioning.

Stuff goes down around here when the sun is out. People lose their minds. It’s like they have never seen this giant ball of fire in the sky called the “sun” before.

If you go downtown Portland to Waterfront Park, which is primo for people-watching, virtually every man has his shirt off. (Gross.) It could very well be only 75 degrees, mind you. Hardly warrants disrobing to cool off, which I do not approve of whatsoever. Last month, I saw a fella with a “PARKOUR” tattoo in an old English script across his chest. I sincerely hope that is his last name, though I am guessing not. How unfortunate.

Go around town to any city park and find kids in swimsuits and moms nearby in barely there bikinis “tanning”. Cover up your business, ladies. I don’t care how rock hard your abs are (though after 4 children, you undoubtedly worked hard for that body; good for you). I just don’t need to see your cash & prizes. You are making me uncomfortable. Know who you’re NOT making uncomfortable? That creeper with his cell phone snapping pics of you. You just remember THAT next time. Also, don’t get mad when people stare. Duh. (Women have a bad habit of doing things for attention, then get upset when they GET attention. You cannot control who notices you! Don’t be mad when someone uggers is creepin’ on you. That’s what you get.)

I guess what I am trying to say here is that everyone needs to just play it cool when Mr. Sun visits, ok? Settle down.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. bethyancey says:

    My new definition of modesty: if someone else doesn’t want to see it, cover it up!!!

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