When I Grow Up…

The Green Room's "Candy & Jason" - me and my "nemesis" Nick Hamilton

Every couple of years, I grow dissatisfied and then for months toss around potential career moves.

There was the time I wanted to be a fashion designer.

Then there was the time I wanted to be a dental hygienist. Then I realized I’d have to touch people.

Then there was the time I wanted to be a cosmetologist. Then I realized I’d have to touch people. Ew.

Then there was the time I wanted to be a flight attendant. Then I remembered I get motion sickness. Ew.

Then there was the time I could not even get hired as a barista. That was depressing.

There was the time I did some event planning (side work), and I think I made about 5 cents per hour.

Then there was the time I interviewed to be a salon manager.

Then there was the time I wanted to be a youth pastor, too, then I decided being “the wife” was better for me. For everyone, really.

Then there was the time I wanted to be a music minister.

Then there was the time I thought I could run my own maid service.

Then there was the time my friend and I thought we could start an in-home daycare. There are so many things wrong with that statement that I don’t even know where to begin.

Then there was the time I wanted to be a freelance writer. I don’t even know what “freelance” means!

Then there was the time I wanted to be a stay at home wife aka “woman of leisure”.

Then there was the time I wanted to have kids, but I don’t want to talk about that right now. Another time. Too painful.

Then there was the time I wanted to be a singer. (Well, I AM a singer, and I am really thankful for the opportunities I get to do that…and it’s PART of my dream, but it’s not the WHOLE dream.)

Then, October of 2010, I looked my husband in the eye and said, “I’m an actor. This is why nothing ever fits for me. I can’t imagine doing anything else.” Funny thing is – this dream has been here in my heart since childhood. My dream, like the Titanic, hit an iceberg of disbelief at some point and sunk to the bottom of an ocean of insecurity and fear. In fact, even when I owned up to this burning desire, I am not sure I fully believed in it myself.

Then I remembered performing dramas in church, and then writing them – and I KNEW.

Then I saw some amazing theater – and I KNEW.

Then I met Casting Director, Toni Suttie – and I KNEW.

Then I spent hours studying and doing research – and I KNEW.

Then I spent a crazy 15 hour day on a movie set in the Nevada desert – and I KNEW.

Then I auditioned for a tv pilot – and I KNEW.

Then I got a part in a play – and I KNEW.

Maybe I’ll get a chance to redeem myself one day by playing roles such as a flight attendant, cosmetologist, dental hygienist, barista, salon manager, fashion designer or mom. That way I can say, “See! I did do all of that stuff! Sort of.”

If it was easy, everyone would do it. If it were practical, it wouldn’t be fun. If it wasn’t impossible, it wouldn’t be miraculous.

The people who take the biggest risks reap the biggest rewards. So, what do you have to lose?

Whatever your “thing” is, don’t give up. Maybe you’re like I was, and in process of finding it. You will. Don’t give up. Ever! Don’t stop believin’!

Visit (and “Like”) the Mask & Mirror page on Facebook to see more pictures of the cast and find out about shenanigans and goings on. For tickets call 503.691.1779 or email tickets@maskandmirror.com  On opening night, November 4, tickets will be $5 plus 2 cans of food to donate to the Tigard Food Bank. We want to sell the place out, so take advantage of the cheap tickets!

The show runs from November 4-20, Fridays & Saturdays at 7:30pm & Sundays at 2pm. Adults: $12, Seniors, Students, Military: $10, Children under 13: $5. Unemployed? Call to find out how to get a free ticket to come to a show!

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Shameless self promotion! Well done!

    1. Jenny Lind says:

      “That’s a shameless plug.”
      “But I like free advertising.”

      (Just in case you didn’t recognize that, that was from My Fair Gravy.)

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