An Open Letter Regarding Halloween

DISCLAIMER: Whatever your personal conviction is about Halloween is fine with me and I have the utmost respect for your point of view. For me, growing up, it was merely an excuse to dress up and hand out/eat candy. I might add that my parents (my dad was a minister, BTDubbs) never ONCE expressed concern about Halloween being the Devil’s birthday or anything of the such.  In fact, there was no mention of Satan or his minions. Therefore, I was SHOCKED to hear concerns from Christians in my early teens. Not judging anyone out there – you must do what you feel is right for you and your family. I’m just saying for my family, it was a ridiculously fun time.

Dear ladies,

Can we just have one year where women are not dressed like…how can I say this nicely…ladies of the night? I am absolutely fed up with it. Ever hear of leaving a little to the imagination? I just don’t think this is the image you want to portray. Or maybe it is? Or maybe I should just mind my own business! No…it’s MY blog and I can say what I want! Stop looking like hoochie mamas! Oh, and don’t let your daughters look like hoochies either!

Dear teenagers,

If you worry you might be too old to trick or treat, you ARE! Save the candy for the little kids! You are too grown to act like that! I LOVE you more than life itself, and I am embarrassed for you when you ring my bell and say “trick or treat”. It kind of makes me want to yell “TRICK!” and throw a bucket of water on you. I know, that’s mean. I’m just being honest though. You need to go home and reconsider your plans this evening.

To everyone else,

I know, it’s tempting to sit at home, eating fun size candies. You know what’s not fun though? Having to move up a pant size. We are now on a downward spiral in a gravy boat headed for Thanksgiving. Let’s be honest, all December long, we eat baked goods. Let’s just, for once, show an ounce of self-control and not eat 100 bite size Snickers.

And with that….I wish you all a happy and safe evening with lots of laughter and memories with your families.

Sincerely,

Jenny Lind

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Like that “gravy boat downward spiral toward Thanksgiving….”

    The way I express it is that Halloween marks the official beginning of the “Fall Overeating Season” which officially ends when the New Year’s leftovers are gone. Not pretty…..

    1. Jenny Lind says:

      HAHA! Thanks, Dan. And you are SO right! Crazy…

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