Every so often, a song jumps out of my speakers, hurls through the air, travels through my ears and pierces my heart. I heard the song Frontiers by Vertical Church Band and at first I thought, “I wish I’d written that”. Then I thought, “Did someone read my mind or my journal?”
Lead me to the end of myself. Take me to the edge of something greater. Friends, this is the absolute cry of my heart. It is a theme for my quest to die to self. Wait, “quest” sounds like an adventure. Perhaps the word “battle” is much more suitable.
I sat in a coffee shop with a dear friend the other day. She said she was proud of me. How I’ve navigated disappointment and rejection. I laughed. I never thought of myself as handling those things well. But the only other option is to become bitter – and I refuse. And when you have family and friends like this in your corner, you somehow find your muchness again. You find your courage to hope again.
Every day, the more I let go of my plans, the closer I feel to the edge of something greater. That something is God’s plans.
Frontiers by Vertical Church Band
I cannot feel your love so strong and still
From where I’ve hidden
I cannot hear your voice above my will
But still you listen
And all the while
You call me to your grace
All that I undid fades
Lead me to the end of myself
Take me to the edge of something greater
I’m looking out beyond this great unknown
Though I can’t see it
One day I’ll see the place you call my home
Lord, I’ll be near it
I am standing on the great frontiers
Of your love, of your love
You have overcome my deepest fears
With your love, with your love